Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Writing sample

Hi all,

I have been showing some of my writing to people so that I can get feedback. I am interested in what people think, good, bad, or indifferent. I don't want my blog readers to be left out, so here is a sample paragraph or so. This text is from the Vandar book. Please feel free to leave comments for me. All comments welcome, as they will help to continue editing and refining the text, and to narrow down my precise market.

Here goes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The eight riders and their mounts headed east to the village of Casmet. It was about an hours ride by fast gallop, but once out of sight of the royal palace, Bellnar, the group slowed to a brisk trot while Pessan briefed Zeb on events so far. Zeb was having trouble with his ears. He must be hearing it wrong.
“Let me get this straight Pessan. I’m not sure I heard you right. We are to kill all the villagers, as well as burning the village?”
“Yes Zeb, that’s exactly right”
“It seams a tad excessive Sir. I’ve been ordered to do some unpleasant things before, but an unarmed village?”
“Ours is not to reason why. Kinkaid has given his orders. Do you want to tell him its excessive?”
“Of course not Sir. Wouldn’t dream of it. Nobody crosses Kinkaid’s orders”.
“Glad to hear you’ve found your brains again! Leave one villager alive to tell others of the consequences of refusing to pay Kinkaid’s taxes”.
“Yes Sir, it will be done”
They rode on in silence, quickening the pace to a canter when they reached the neatly ploughed farmers fields on the outskirts of Casmet. Children playing in the vacant field to the north of the village spotted the riders first. They looked excitedly as they drew closer, coming over the hill near the children’s favourite swing.

Comments please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gail

No comments:

Post a Comment