The Bride's Farewell

ROSOFF, MEG THE BRIDE'S FAREWELL
Puffin (Ages 12+)
ISBN: 9780141383934
The story starts on the morning of Pell Ridley’s wedding. Awake before the rest of her family, Pell creeps out of the house, collecting her horse as she flees. She has no real wish to marry and face a lifetime of hard work and constant child bearing. Before Pell gets away from the house she is stopped by her little brother who cannot speak, but makes it clear that he wants to go with her. Very reluctantly Pell agrees and they set off.
Set at the start of the industrial revolution, girls of that time were all expected to marry, look after a home, and raise a large number of children. Pell’s father is a farmer, but as he is also a gambler and a drunk, they never have enough money. Every thing from food to clothing is rationed, recycled, and kept to a minimum. Pell grows up seeing the poverty, but hearing even worse horror stories about conditions in the overcrowded cities of the industrial north. Desperate workers flock there in the hope of work, and many die from the conditions. Pell also sees her mother be constantly pregnant as father is fond of his marital rites. The frequent pregnancies, births, and hard physical work have taken a toll on her once beautiful and educated mother, who now has ill health and looks old beyond her time.
To Pell, this means that marriage is on a level with slavery, and to a wild spirited tomboy like her, it fill her with dread. Pell also has a gift for working with horses and is employed by a local horse breeder. Marriage would mean that she would have to relinquish the job, and the only joy and freedom that she has in her life. Pell is most concerned that she does not follow in her mother’s footsteps. It is the thought of this wedded drudgery that has Pell running away on the morning of her wedding, in search of a new and different future.
With no money, and nowhere to go, the twosome look for work, and find themselves at a horse fair. Finding temporary work, things start to look better for them, but then the trader leaves without giving them payment. Pell takes off after him, and the two become separated. Misfortune happens to both of them. During the rest of the book, Pell has to keep earning enough not to starve, and have somewhere to stay. She is looking for her brother, and never gives up on him. She even returns home to see if he was there, only to find out the house burned down, her parents are dead, and her siblings in the workhouse. Pell must find them and rescue them before they all die from the overwork and lack of food.
Between the cover and the title, I thought this book was a girlie tale of romance. Indeed, Pell does meet some during her exploits, and they end up together, but it is not a gushing romance. The story simply says “they lived as man and wife from then on”. The tale is much more about Pell’s struggles and her indomitable spirit throughout the novel. There is lots of good historical detail that adds colour to the story, allowing the reader to accurately pictures Pell’s surroundings as travels, and the people she meets. The novel could also be seen as a social comment on the role of women, and on how it is often children who pay the price when things go wrong. They often bear the brunt of the suffering. It is also important to remember that Pell is only fifteen or sixteen when all of this happens. She becomes sole caretaker of the family unit, and is responsible for feeding and clothing her sisters.
Pell’s small brother Bean chooses to live with the gypsy family that Pell meets on her travels. Neither Pell nor Bean find out that the gypsy mother is Bean’s real mother. Apart from adding colour and interest, the gypsy family are there to give us an important message; how you treat others will come back to haunt you. Pell’s father raped the gypsy woman, and left her pregnant. Her partner, and father of all her other children left her, thinking she had had an affair. The woman then handed over baby Bean to her attacker, and had to leave to try to eek out a living on her own, with her children in tow. All this comes back to bite Pell’s father on the bum so to speak, as he looses everything. Again the children suffer, being sent to the workhouse. They gypsy woman helps Pell and Bean. In short, what you dish out comes back two fold, so make sure you dish out good deeds.
I was pleasantly surprised by this book, and did not want to put it down. It is a mid to high ability read, but very easy to digest. I read it practically in one sitting. A character driven tale, 7/10
What I have learned;

· How threads of a story can keep intertwining and enhancing each other.

Good characterisation can drive a book

White Crow

WHITE CROW, Marcus Sedgwick, Orion (Ages 12+) ISBN: 9781842551875
White Crow is a modern gothic novel. It follows three narrative voices that each give a perspective to the story. The first is Rebecca, a teenage girl who has moved to Winterfold with her father after a tragic event. She is isolated and unable to effectively communicate with her father. She explores the village out of boredom, but what she is really looking for is a companion that she can bond with.
Rebecca then finds the strange and intriguing Ferelith, and a partnership starts to build, although Ferelith holds more of the cards than Rebecca does. Readers are left to wonder if this is a real friendship or a manipulation, a trap, or desperation. We learn most of the history of the village from interaction between the two girls, and from the third narrative, the parish rector, through his journal dated 1798. What happened at that time seems to have an impact on the modern age, and on Rebecca and Ferelith. As more of the book is read, we learn that the rector, along with a doctor who moved there from France, had been conducting experiments to find proof that there was life after death.
The idea of the book is that the reader is asked to think about life and death, and the possibility of an afterlife. The white crow of the title is a summation of this argument. There are no proven communications from an afterlife, and people require proof. All crows are black, because no-one has ever seen any that are not black. Until they see a crow that is not black, for instance, a white crow, everyone will continue to believe that all crows are black. In the same way, until there is proof of life after death, there will always be many who do not believe in it. This example is explained to the reader in the book.
The village of Winterfold is isolated and decaying. The sea is slowly swallowing it, with frequent landslides along the coast that will eventually lead to total destruction of the village. As part of this process, churches and graveyards are lost over the cliff edge bit by bit, revealing bodies, coffins, and artefacts as they go along. This provides suitably gothic detail, especially when we learn that Ferelith collects things from the exposed graves as souvenirs, including someone’s skull. The characters lives are slowly unravelling, producing secrets just like the ground is producing grave goods. All live are slowly rotting and decaying, piece by piece, heading towards our own personal destruction, death. This brings the quest for proof of the after life into focus again.
When I read this novel, I found switching the narrative voices irritating. It made the book appear choppy, a little too choppy for my personal taste. I later went back and re-read some of the text, and it was much easier the second time around, and I picked up on things that I had missed. My concern is that this would confuse children much more than it did me, and so make them unlikely to continue with the book, or re-visit it a second time. I talked to some colleagues who had also read the book, and they shared my concern. They also found the book choppy and stilted. One person I spoke to said that they did not get the book at all. Certainly, I have been putting off writing this review for at least two weeks, as I was unsure what to write. The question of proof of life after death is never fully dealt with, and of course, is never proven, even fictionally. There is a twist at the end of the story, but it failed to surprise me. I found the ending rushed, and I was unsatisfied at leaving the story there.
In conclusion, White Crow is a clever book that causes readers to think about important concepts such as life after death. It weaves narratives from different perspectives and timelines to piece together the story. However, in doing so it looses its flow, and becomes difficult to read. I found the initial reading of the book somewhat of a chore, but it is better a second time around. It is one of those books that grow with you, and that you take more from each time you read it. I can see that there has been careful thought given to how the book has been structured, but it just didn’t float my boat so to speak. The image, or indeed idea, of the white crow, is only dealt with briefly at the beginning and the end of the novel. In my opinion, more should have been made of it, especially given the title of the book.
Choppy, but carefully planned. Doesn’t deal with the question posed. 4/10
What I have learned;

· Be careful when using different narrative voices so as to avoid confusion, and not loose cohesion of the whole work.

· If imagery and concepts are central to the work, make sure that is reflected in the finished text, and not just in the title

Carnegie Challenge

Hi All,

As previously mentioned, I took up the challenge of reading and reviewing all of the six books on the Carnegie Medal shortlist. The Carnegie Medal is a literary prize given annually to an outstanding children’s book. Books are nominated, and then they are reduced to a shortlist of the six best by a panel of judges. This shortlist is then circulated to schools and libraries across the country, who then form shadowing groups. Shadowing groups consist of young people who read all the books on the shortlist, and participate in activities that link to the books, such as art and drama. They try and decide which book they think should win the prize, and sometimes groups will get together for a day of challenges, for example, an inter-school event.

The six shortlisted books are;
SEDGWICK, MARCUS WHITE CROW
Orion (Ages 12+)
ISBN: 9781842551875
ROSOFF, MEG THE BRIDE'S FAREWELL
Puffin (Ages 12+)
ISBN: 9780141383934
BRESLIN, THERESA PRISONER OF THE INQUISITION
Doubleday (Ages 12+)
ISBN: 9781406310276
McCAUGHREAN GERALDINE THE DEATH DEFYING PEPPER ROUX
Oxford Children's Books (Ages 10+)
ISBN: 9780192756022
WALLACE, JASON OUT OF SHADOWS
Andersen Press (Ages 14+)
ISBN: 9781849390484
NESS, PATRICK MONSTERS OF MEN
Walker (Ages 14+)
ISBN: 9780385617031
I have now read five of the six, and I will start adding the reviews. I had hoped to have finished reading them all by now, but my university course and two sick children have meant that I have admitted defeat on that score. The official winner of the prize is now announced as MONSTERS OF MEN, Patrick Ness, Walker (Ages 14+) ISBN: 9780385617031. Ironically, this is the one book I have not yet read, although I have started it. I will continue to read and then review whilst I am in the process of adding the reviews of the other five. I’m going to blog them in the order that I read them.
If you want to find out more about the Carnegie Medal, you can visit http://www.carnegiegreenaway.org.uk/carnegie/current_shortlist.php
Gail

a focus group reading of the first two chapters of Vandar

Vandar

A focus group reading of the first two chapters

I was fortunate enough to have a chance to trial one of my novels with a group of 26 teenagers, aged 12-13, in a school. I read them the first two chapters of Vandar, and gave then a table to record their views on. They did not know that I wrote the story.That was especially usefull as teenagers are very honest in their opinions of things. Here is a summary of what they thought.

Would you read more of this story? Thankfully most said they would like to read/hear more. Those who were maybe answers wanted to read the blurb before deciding. Those who did not want to read more indicated on their form that they did not like stories from that genre. The two maybe votes were from people who don’t normally read much.

If this was a book in the library, would you take it out? The yes vote was lower here, although I am told that has more to do with never taking out a library book. At least three people asked me if the book was in print, and where they could get it. A few more said they would decide after seeing the cover, and reading the blurb. That was how they chose books.

Did they correctly identify the target audience of 12/13 yrs to adult? Anyone selecting that age group was a yes vote. Lots of those who did not give correct answers, were actually within two years of the target age group. This means that I am mostly getting it right. As this was a set two, they read very well, and that may account for the results. The majority of those who missed the target bracket, chose 1-2 years earlier.

The teenagers were then asked to suggest genres for the story. At this point, they have not met any classic fantasy creatures or characters, and no magic has been used, so it was difficult to get the fantasy angle. However, some of them did! They had heard about a battle with some gory detail, and there had been a reasonably fast pace with action. They did not have an overview of the story, no ‘blurb’. They seem to have all realised I is set in a pre-industrial world.

The next question asked them to identify their favourite charter. The fact that they are fairly evenly split tells me that I have created my characters well, and that there is one for everyone.

All participants were also asked to give the book (well the first two chapters), a score out of ten. The lowest mark was six, but most people gave an eight. I was very flattered to receive three ten out of ten marks.

Below are some comments from the teens, and some observations gathered from the feedback forms.

· There was good characterisation. Most readers grasped the way the character thought, felt, and how they would act. A few noticed that they spoke in a particular way. Many said they would keep reading because they liked the character and wanted to know what happened to them next.

· Some commented on the use of foreshadowing, and they liked how they got Clues as to what may happen next.

· Most thought that the description was good, with lots of detail. One person said it helped them to create good mental images. However another said that it slowed the book down and could make it boring.

· Most of the participants liked the detail in the story when the village was sacked, but some said they found it gory.

· Almost all participants like the action. It was consistently brought up as the part of the story they liked best.

· Several people commented on how the language was old fashioned, and it suited the setting and story. As this was deliberate, I was very pleased!

· People said that they liked the way that the characters spoke to each other, and that having lots of dialogue made the story more interesting.

· They all agreed that the book could have the most marvellously written, prize winning story inside, but they would not choose it to read unless it had a good cover, and a blurb that hooked them in.

· Finally, some people wrote that they liked the challenging vocabulary that was used.

Writing sample

Hi all,

I have been showing some of my writing to people so that I can get feedback. I am interested in what people think, good, bad, or indifferent. I don't want my blog readers to be left out, so here is a sample paragraph or so. This text is from the Vandar book. Please feel free to leave comments for me. All comments welcome, as they will help to continue editing and refining the text, and to narrow down my precise market.

Here goes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The eight riders and their mounts headed east to the village of Casmet. It was about an hours ride by fast gallop, but once out of sight of the royal palace, Bellnar, the group slowed to a brisk trot while Pessan briefed Zeb on events so far. Zeb was having trouble with his ears. He must be hearing it wrong.

“Let me get this straight Pessan. I’m not sure I heard you right. We are to kill all the villagers, as well as burning the village?”

“Yes Zeb, that’s exactly right”

“It seams a tad excessive Sir. I’ve been ordered to do some unpleasant things before, but an unarmed village?”

“Ours is not to reason why. Kinkaid has given his orders. Do you want to tell him its excessive?”

“Of course not Sir. Wouldn’t dream of it. Nobody crosses Kinkaid’s orders”.

“Glad to hear you’ve found your brains again! Leave one villager alive to tell others of the consequences of refusing to pay Kinkaid’s taxes”.

“Yes Sir, it will be done”

They rode on in silence, quickening the pace to a canter when they reached the neatly ploughed farmers fields on the outskirts of Casmet. Children playing in the vacant field to the north of the village spotted the riders first. They looked excitedly as they drew closer, coming over the hill near the children’s favourite swing.

Comments please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gail

Killer Planet

Killer Planet (1989) Bob Shaw, Pan Macmillan’s Children’s Books

ISBN 0 330 31696 6

This is quite a short book, about an hours read. Again this book is set in the future, and it has a male teenage protagonist, although he has a female sidekick that is more than a match for him. Jan steals his father’s specially designed space rocket in order to reach the planet Verdia. He has to outrun the authorities, as Verdia is forbidden to all, and is nicknamed “the Killer Planet” as no one has made it off there alive. All technology fails on the planet, which has strange magnetic properties.

However, Jan is determined to reach the planet as his older brother was part of an expedition there, and all of those expeditionaries have been declared dead. Jan does not want to believe that his brother is dead, and neither does his father, who has specifically designed the space rocket for Verdia, to compensate for the magnetic anomalies. Petra, best friend of Jan decides that he will not succeed without her, and manages to get on the rocket with him.

They reach the planet, only to find out that they are the planet’s next intended victims. Using all their wits, strength and luck, they explore the planet, narrowly missing death several times, until they find the centre of the disturbance in the electrical field. An evil alien causes this disturbance, along with the death and destruction of the expeditionary force, and Jan and Petra have to thwart him to survive.

This is an old-fashioned adventure story, just set in the future with a space rocket and an evil alien. The story is fast paced, and there is plenty of interaction between characters to keep things lively. This helps to keep children interested in the story. Children tend to like the good verses evil, and the kids triumph over all type stories, and two teenage friends being “trapped by the malign forces of a monstrous alien” qualifies this novel as one of those stories. There is plenty of imagination, and detailed descriptions that bring the setting to life;

“Nothing could have prepared them for the actuality of the Verdian jungle. Trees, vines, giant flowers, thorny shrubs, mosses and waist-high grasses fought for every inch of space. So virulent was their growth that in some places the movement was discernable – the tendrils of climbing plants could be seen blindly probing for their grip on trees; carnivorous flowers closed with audible snaps as they engulfed their prey”.

Language is also used creatively in generating atmosphere, and clearly defining the mood of the story. Emotive language is placed within the description, and the effect is very clever indeed. In just a short few lines, the mood of the chapter is set, and readers are in no doubt as to the character of the mysterious alien;

“Several hundred meters away was a squat, windowless black tower – the stronghold of the inhuman fiend which had descended on Verdia centuries earlier. The force of evil and of hatred emanating from it was almost tangible, a silent assault on the mind which made all who encountered it want to cower away”.

I am a huge fan of the way Shaw writes. There are no waffly bits, no story lulls, and nothing is there just for the sake of a plot inconvenience. There are no spare parts in this story. Every line is carefully thought out, and the characters well rounded. There is plenty of dialogue between characters, and the show me don’t tell me adage has been well and truly applied here. I would love to read more stories from this author.

What I have learned;

• How to use emotive language in description to create vivid images

To be selective about content, and not to waffle

The Prince in waiting

Prince in Waiting (1970) John Christopher, Collins Educational

ISBN 0-00-330010-2

The story is told from the point of view of the central character, the protagonist, teenage Luke. As the story opens, he is about to turn thirteen, and he is concerned with typical teenage boy things, such as friends, fighting, and competition. Luke has been practicing with his sword ready for the big contest, and battle game where armies of boys are led by four captains against each other.

This book is set in feudal England, with a medieval level of technology. Each of the cities across England has their own Prince, who rules as an absolute monarch. There are no parliaments. However, The cities all have modern names. Each of these cities is competition with one another, and there is constant conflict and war between them all. It is expected of each Prince to lead his army out against a neighbouring city. Any perception of weakness will bring another city’s army to your door. All cities are therefore walled and fortified.

Machinery is outlawed, and perceived as evil. To mess with machines is thought to bring about ruin. The mythology of the society says that the machines brought about the great destruction. All buildings are made of wood, and characters express the idea that constructing large buildings out of stone or concrete is asking for trouble. They think that using machines, and building in anything other than wood, is arrogance leading to an individual’s, or a society’s downfall.

“Although no one would now be so foolish as to build in stone it was used in foundations, and from time to time men took loads from the ruins for this purpose”.

Along with this medieval style thinking, women are only allowed household duties, and must not have any occupation other than running a home. There are such things as “Polymufs” who are humans that have deformities. They are not classed as human, have very little rights, and must work as a servant to a human. Humans do not do manual work. Polymufs are really humans of course, and there is a veiled reference to polymufs occurring after the great destruction. This gives the idea that these people are suffering deformity due to radiation or chemical exposure of some kind. If a human has a polymuf baby they must give it away to be a servant. Animals that are born polymuf are killed. The segregation of human polymufs, and the slaughter of animal polymuff is the character’s way of containing the abnormalities. There are also Dwarves, again human really, just suffering from dwarfism. These too are treated as a separate race, and all dwarves are trained as craftsmen. No human works a forge etc, he employs a dwarf to do it for him.

All of the characters in the novel believe in “spirits” that guide them. These spirits are the spirits of the ancestors. Seers who are secretive, and wear white robes similar to priests interpret these spirits. When someone wants to ask the spirits something, a seer will consult the spirits for them, and pass on the answer. Magic is a part of this process, and adds to the spectacle created by the seers. Christians are mocked, and live in poor conditions alongside polymufs, who they consider equal to humans. The rest of the society sees this as laughable.

“When one thought of the Christians in the city, a handful of wretches living mostly by the north gate, so warped and degraded that they accepted polymufs as members of their sect and as equals”

Clues are slowly revealed that this is actually the future, and not the past. The first clue was the name of the cities, and the second some writing on a piece of wood.

“The section of wood in which the bar was fixed was a piece salvaged from olden time. There had been letters painted on it once and though the paint had long worn away one could see, when the sun shone brightly, the outlines of the words that had been written there. I had traced them one day, with difficulty. RADIO & TV DEAL, the message ran. A wasted labour, to find something that meant nothing”.

I like the way this passage reveals something in a casual manor, using an unimportant object. This really made me want to work out what was happening, and helped to get me on the lookout for further clues as to what was going on. This is really useful for getting people to read your entire story, and it makes things more interesting if you find out little bits at a time.

There are many subtle layers within this book, and the fortunes of the characters flip and change throughout the novel. There are many twists and turns. Even the secret sect of the seers that publicly eschews all machines, and communes with spirits, is revealed to be the power behind all things, manipulating events. Behind close doors, they admit to being frauds, using tricks to make it look like there are spirits, and even using machines. Just when you think the Prince in waiting has lost his chance of becoming a Prince, he is offered the chance to become more than that, the prince of princes, a leader for united England.

That is where the story ends, and we never know if Luke will unite everyone, if he learns about all of the machines, etc. I feel as if there is another book in there somewhere. I seam to remember Scheherazade saying to the sultan in Arabian nights that all the best storytellers ended on cliffhanger. How else are you to keep people interested in your work? Well I was definitely interested in reading more.

What I have learned;

• That information can be eked out throughout the book
• This information can be revealed casually, and does not always need to be a big announcement
• Many changes in circumstances for main characters keep the reader interested

Ending on a cliff-hanger, or indicating that there may be more to the story will keep readers interested in further books written by that author

gmt write's blog: Progress

Hi all,

I have had several people from different backgrounds and differing ages review the first chapter of my Vandar novel. I am very encouraged so far by the response, and I have started to draft the second chapter. I am going to redraft the first chapter, and then I will look at the fist two chapters together, or maybe write a third, and then have the three reviewed?

Vandar is the book I began years ago, but had to place on one side due to circumstances beyond my control. As regular readers will know, I recently rediscovered this novel in progress, and developed new enthusiasm for it. I have expanded on the plan for the novel, fleshing out details, adding minor characters, and so on. I ave developed a map of Vandar, that is aiding in the creative process. I have also thought quite a bit about the way I want the novel to be written, the style of the prose. As with any novel, it is a constantly evolving entity, but I am sure that the bare bones are complete and I am busily adding the flesh.

The other book I am writing, the first one many of you heard about, is called The Gift. I am still working on this novel, and I have had some intriguing ideas that open up a world of possibility for connecting story lines and characters. It has been suggested to me that this novel would find it hard to encompass all of these ideas into one book, but that all the ideas are interesting, and people continue to ask for more details etc. therefore, it has been suggested that the book turns into a series, like the Harry Potter books, or the Percy Jackson books. I am thinking about this concept at the moment.

I have also embarked on the challenge of reading and reviewing all six of the shortlisted Carnegie books. The Carnegie Medal is an award for children's writers. It is very prestigious, and is open nation wide. Six books have made it onto the shortlist. The winner will be announced mid June. I am now on book four of the list, having read the first three. When I have read them all I will start to add my reviews, and I will score them all, indicating which novel I think should receive the prize. The challenge is getting it done before the real announcement!

Gail xxx